Silent Panic

Dedicated to:

MICHAEL VON MORLOCK

The finest man I know,
and the finest man most people know,
who have met him.
He is not only my son, but my best friend also.

Date: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 1:59 p.m.

I have been working for days to put together an address book so that I may do what folks have been telling me to do for years-WRITE MY STORY. A few days ago a good lady wrote me and told me I needed a REST. So I will combine both as I feel our Lord is telling me to do BOTH. I suggest you print out each new e-mail, it will be worth it.

In Jesus Love, BUD.

Date: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 4:00 p.m.

Because of all the problems I have had getting started with this project this portion of the introduction will be short. I have lost all confidence in my internet skills, and so I will be going slow at first. I pray it will all be worth it - I mean for the glory of our Lord's kingdom. Perhaps this is the beginning (at long last), and I will be able to get on with this without too many delays and errors. In Jesus love, BUD.

Date: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 5:17 p.m.

Years ago when I was a pilot in the Air Force there was a day when I was flying between Seattle and Anchorage. It was in the afternoon. The sky was clear and the sun was shining in my window. Note: (at this point I should tell you I “earned” all D's in High school English. I tell you this so you understand better what my two index fingers will produce at this keyboard) And so as I sat there in the sun my mind began to wonder (or wander) probably both. I began to think about my life, where I'd been and where I'd be going. I thought about the plane crash in Japan, getting caught in quicksand with my wife, and the head-on car wreck that I miraculously survived almost unscratched. All three times I should have died. I asked myself, “Why was I still alive? What purpose had God planned for me to fulfill?” It came to me to write a book - a book that would help others to live a happier life. Because we all make mistakes I thought about the time I almost blew off my foot while teaching my son about gun safety, and about the time I forgot to put down my TAKE-OFF flaps on a night short field take-off in Kentucky and nearly destroyed a three million dollar airplane along with the whole crew, and I thought I should write a book to help others to learn from my mistakes. Yes, this would undoubtedly help them to live happier lives! I thought I would title this magnificent masterpiece, “IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE”. However, as you have noted, I decided otherwise -the title is, again a magnificent masterpiece, “SILENT PANIC”.

It is my hope and Prayer that my efforts will be worth while and worthy for you to mail on to others. Please print out these my efforts, because it will be expensive to replace back copies.

In Jesus Love, BUD.

Date: Wednesday, November 28, 2001 3:57p.m.

Yesterday, in the Introduction on page 2, I mentioned a plane crash in Japan. Well, we were flying in a C-130 from the Pacific island of Iwo Jima, to our home base in Japan, Ashiya Air Base. I was an extra pilot and did not have to do any flying so I just stood behind the Chief Pilot. As we approached Ashiya, our number 1 engine fire warning light came on. Our pilot shut the engine down and prepared to make a three-engine landing. This was nothing particularly dangerous as I had performed this maneuver many times. However, it must be done right! Upon landing he put the three remaining engines in reverse all at once. This is a NO-NO. We veered off the runway onto the grass -toward some buildings. To correct this problem he pushed the engines to full forward power to take-off once more. However, we did not have flying speed to do that so we went into an uncontrollable left turn at about 10 feet of altitude. My home, which sat near the runway, my pregnant wife, and my two-year old son all lay in our path. Fortunately, our turn got tighter and we turned inside and missed all these precious people. But, be the enlisted men's barracks came into our trajectory - three such barracks with people in them. We hit the first and started to cart-wheel through the remaining two and crashed going backwards onto a football field. When we came to a stop I was lying at the pilot's feet as I was not strapped into a seat. I was just standing there when we hit. I was hanging on to two brackets, but the force of the crash threw me down to the floor. I looked up at the pilot. He was bleeding at his nose and mouth. Later the doctors told me he was probably already dead with his lungs full of blood. We never found out as he burned up with the airplane. As for myself, all I could see was fire all around us so I made my way to the exit. The door was missing and so was the ladder which normally went down to it. I jumped to the ground below. In doing so I burned the palm of my left hand on a very hot exposed electrical wire (a scar is still there today - I just looked!). While it hurt I was relieved to know that my left hand was still connected to my brain! You see, in all this terror, I was conscience of the fact that I had no control of my left arm. Later, I found out it had been dislocated at the shoulder. Once outside the plane I made my way through a mass of burning debris. In doing so, I saw burning men jumping out of the second story windows. A man put me in his car and took me to the hospital where I phoned my wife. They reset my arm and two days later I was able to go home. A week after that I found myself testifying before an accident investigating team. When I finished answering their questions one Captain asked about my thoughts when I saw the first barracks before us and I knew I was surely about to die. I told him the truth, because I could remember exactly my thoughts. I told him, “I was wondering what it would be like to see Jesus!”.

Yesterday I received an e-mail from my God Daughter in Russia. She is our Sec/Tres there. She reported we were down to only $600. I have $2,000 to send her, and I will send it, but please help us. Our work goes on. Her request for funds was to support our 16 Christian college kids with money for food, dormitory fees, school supplies, and some warm cloths. It's 10 degrees there - soon to go down to 10 degrees BELOW.

In Jesus Love, BUD.

P .S. Please click me back when and if you read this.

Date: Thursday, November 29, 2001 6:17 p.m.

WOW! We are possibly making history! This may be the first time in the history of our World that a person sets out to write an autobiography, and after writing each page gives it to 41 readers who can critique it immediately (thousands of miles away in most cases), and comment on it before the next page is written! I love it.

Yesterday, four folks responded. The most interesting reply came from a Pastor in Illinois. He wanted to know what the Captain's reaction was to my answer. The Captain was a good man, but I hardly knew him. I never saw him in church. Maybe, I hope, my reply touched him.

Note: There are about 16 Pastors and 16 Bible teachers on these mailings.

My story yesterday, I am afraid, made me look a bit like a saint. However, I believe our Lord had many plans for me that were yet to unfold - which would prove that I was not, could not, would not, and never will be a saint. It wasn't much later that I found myself flying night combat missions in Laos every other night. On two nights our gunship was hit by 37mm anti-aircraft projectiles and we had to limp our craft home to Thailand. There were many aspects to the Vietnam War. It wasn't just Vietnam.

On one night, again over Laos, our ship was called in to fire upon enemy troops who were attacking our friendly guys. Being that it was night I fired the guns where our navigator aimed the computer index. I did so by placing my computer gun sight on top of his index and by pulling the trigger. This is a rather impersonal way to kill people. You don't see them die. When you run out of bullets you just fly home. As it was, however, a CIA agent who was on the ground decided to count the dead. It was in the neighborhood of 865. I was awarded a medal.

I have so much more to say. I don't know how long this will go on, but I feel our Lord leading me to tell you these things. Perhaps your life will be better because of my mistakes. If you wish critique me, and if you wish send this on to others.

In Jesus Love, BUD.

Date: Friday, November 30, 2001 4:57 p.m.

One ship sails east, one ship sails west, with self-same winds that blow.
Tis the set of sail, and not the gail, that determines the way they go,
I've forgotten the author, if I ever knew!

After I retired from the Air Force and found myself single I saw a man on Christian TV who was looking for Volunteer Bible smugglers. He was Brother Andrew, founder of Open Doors with Brother Andrew, and his organization's name was based on Rev 3:8, I know his real name, but I will not tell you here, because his organization is still active around the world. I plan to tell you some of my Bible smuggling stories, but you can read his in the book he published titled “GOD'S SMUGGLER”, He and I, as well as many others experienced many miracles in our exploits, His book became my training manual.

First, I want to tell you we get our authority by Jesus telling us to go forth into all nations and spread the Gospel. That is enough of a marching order for me, but should you worry about violating the laws of another country I tell you He also said we must obey God's laws before man's laws.

Once there was a day when I smuggled two suitcases of Korean Bibles into northeast China, near the Korean/Chinese border. My plan was the get these Bibles into Korea from Russia via China. I needed some help. Getting into China was easy for me as I had done this dozens of times. So when I arrived at my hotel I prayed that our Father would lead me to a man who spoke Korean, Chinese and English and that he would help me find a Korean businessman who had a food trading company! My plan was to smuggle these Bibles into North Korea with boxes of food. There was a vast food shortage in northern Korea. When I finished I said “Amen”,

I was asking a lot as this city had 4.5 million people and only 10,000 Koreans. But, I picked up my suitcases and went down stairs to the parking lot. Usually there would be 6 to 8 taxies waiting for a fare, but this day there was only one! I didn't know it was God's Taxi! Using hand gestures I told the driver I wanted to go up the street and go to the right. I knew there was a church there. As we rode I took out a cross and showed it to my driver. He shook his “yes, yes”. Then I took out a note I have written using a Korean/English dictionary. It said, “Do you know anyone who speaks Korean and English”. He took out a cell phone, YES, a cell phone! That was when I began to think that God had sent me a special taxi. He spoke on the phone and then gave it to me. I said, “Hello, do you speak Korean?” A man said, “Yes, how can I help you.” After I told him that I needed to talk to him he told me to give the phone to the driver. And, YES, the driver was a Korean!

Immediately, the driver spun the car around and we went in the opposite direction! In less than 20 minutes from when I said, “Amen” to my prayer we pulled up in front of a restaurant and there stood a very tall oriental man. He introduced himself as Mr. Kim. It was his restaurant and he invited me in to eat. I showed him one of my Korean Bibles and told him I wanted to get these into North Korean. He told me that would be impossible and I told him that with God all things were possible! Then I asked him if he knew a Korean who had a food trading company. He explained that he owned two such companies! I gave him the Bibles.

Now, here is where I get goosebumps! (AND I AM GETTING THEM NOW AS I TELL THIS STORY). I had to ask Mr. Kim, “Are you a Christian?” He said, “Yes, for 18 months now. Would you like to go to church with me tomorrow?” Of course, we went. He sent his “God's Taxi” for me!

One last note: We became partners getting scriptures into North Korea and one evening two weeks later as we shared dinner he told me that out of 10,000 Koreans only 1,000 or so were Christians and only one owned a food trading company and spoke English!

My Brothers and Sisters: As I type this my heart has begun to quicken its beat. It's like our Lord telling me. “Bud, you will return to Russia, but in My timing. Go to China now.” I am crying! I always do when God speaks to me and I know I am in His presence. Please, those who read this - pray about this. I will need a little financial support. North Korea is my TARGET. Click me on. Give me your comments.

In Jesus' Love, BUD. P .S. I can keep you up dated. I know there's a computer there.

Date: Saturday, December 1, 2001 1:04 p.m.

Yesterday I decided to go to China and North Korea. I phoned a seed distributor in Alabama. He told me he could help me get a seed distribution kit which I plan to use to get into North Korea. Then I called my God-daughter in China and she told me we can get Korean Bibles in her city. Today I got a Chinese entry form and I will mail it forward as soon as I can get photos and etc.

Five of the sixteen pastors who will receive this already have PLL as a line item on their church budget. If your church doesn't, please take steps to include us on your 2002 budget. To the extent that you respond will be the extent that I will know that I am going in the right direction. In Jesus' Love, BUD

Project Little Lamb/CPAA

Box 940314

Houston, AK 99694

Please print out and give to your council.

Date: Saturday, December 1, 2001 7:34 p.m.

I want to tell you this story before football season is over.

There was a day when I was a college student in my home state of Ohio that I attended a pro football game where the Cincinnati Bengals were playing the Cleveland Browns.

But first, I must tell you that a coach named Paul Brown made the Ohio State University “Buckeyes”, a leading college in national football, and we were all very proud to be a Buckeye. However, he founded both the Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals. Ohioians were football fools at that time. Because he founded both pro teams they both wore the same colors - brown and orange.

And so now on to the game. Before the first quarter was over there were many fights among the players and a few had to be ejected. The rivalry was fierce, both on the field and in the stands. All the fans of both teams were wearing the same colors and I have to believe that added to all the fist fights going on. Many fans were escorted, by the police, out of the stadium.

The second period was much the same except, perhaps, a bit worse. It was a relief to have it end. At half time both teams left the field. AND THEN...

AND THEN the Ohio State University marching band took the field. With trumpets blaring, drums beating and cymbals crashing they march down the center of the field playing the all too famous OSU “fight song”. In an instant the grandstand became a chaotic bedlam. Everyone went absolutely crazy (Now I am crying because I was there). At that instant we all became BUCKEYES - how dynamic - how powerful: I wish you could have been there so you fully appreciate what I am going to say.

Just imagine yourself in the biggest stadium in the world. No, a bigger stadium. No, a stadium 10 miles in diameter, OK? In the center Protestants are fighting Catholics, and Orthodox are fighting both the Protestants and the Catholics, and amongst the Protestants the Pentecostal, Baptist, Lutheran, and Methodist are all fighting each other! AND THEN AND THEN..., Jesus walks on the field. I Love you all, BUD.

Date: Sunday, December 2, 2001 7:05 p.m.

This, you will find, is a very interesting story. It will only take 3 minutes to read. If you do read it all please click me back. A critique would be great but, at least let me know if you read it. I need input.

There was a day about twenty years ago when I lived in Springfield, Ohio, and I was attending co-ed aerobics classes. I was 47 years old! The tape on our instructors music cassette broke. A young businessman, named Eric, gave Jill, our instructor, a dance tape he had in his pocket. She took one look at it and handed it back, saying “No, it's Satanic.”

After the class I went up to Jill and asked, “Are you a Christian?” She replied, “I don't know - I'm Catholic!”. I thought as I walked away - that's just like a Catholic!, but later I was disappointed in myself. I had a very unchristian thought about Jill and Catholics. Then, at that point, another thought went through my head. It was something about, “Chickens coming home to roost”,

In my defense, I want to tell you that 40 years earlier, when I was 7 and my sister was 11 we lived in a very rough Cleveland, Ohio neighbor. It was all Irish and Italian Catholics and we were the only Protestants - German Lutherans.

One evening, as the sun was setting, my sister and I were in the nearby playground. Three Catholic girls started to beat up on my sister. Bev cried out to me to run and get our father. However, three Catholic boys warned me that if I did they would beat up on me. All I could do was stand there, and watch, and cry. In later years I was able to forgive them and for the most part forget. Normally, I never think about it.

Then 14 years ago, I was doing missionary work in Alaska. I was backpacking out in the wilderness. My mission was to seek out the many American and foreign backpackers who were seeking adventure in the “Last Frontier” and tell them about Jesus. I found myself on a very lonely road and after 10 hours of no progress I started hitchhiking in both directions! Finally, just as the sun had set a young man stopped and picked me up. Greatly relieved, I asked him if he was a Christian. He replied, “I don't know I'm a Lutheran!”. My chickens had come home to roost! I truly love you all, BUD.

Date: Friday, December 7, 2001 7:00 p.m.

I went to High School from 1947 to 1951. In those days we could worship our Triune God in school, and we did. Every Easter week we would have a different Pastor or Priest to lead off our school day. We would all file into our auditorium to hear a Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Pentecostal, Catholic or some other Christian lead us in an Easter worship service. I had to ask myself, “If they all tell the same story why do we have so many different Christian denominations?”

So when I went to college I decided, as part of my advanced education, to go to a different church each Sunday. Thus I did, and after college I was still asking myself the same question!

My next step in life was to enter the United States Air Force. As most of you know the military chapel program ISSUES you a Chaplain like it issues you a drill Sergeant! So with each Chaplain wearing the same uniform it was difficult to tell from which seminary they graduated. However, usually, the Chaplains, in due time, would let you know their denominational preference. I liked each one no matter what Base I was assigned to perform duty.

Basically I remained a Lutheran. After I retired and moved from place to place I found myself teaching Sunday School in various churches (just about all the different Protestant ones at one time or another).

Then I became a Bible Smuggler, and my “Function in the Body” was to be a soldier in the front lines. Smuggling with Brother Andrew's organization out of Hong Kong into China was my first assignment. I will tell more about that as we go along.

Sometime later I was eating raw oysters out on a balcony over hanging the Florida Gulf Coast shoreline when a man also with a platter of oysters came up and asked if he could join me. It was a beautiful sun shinny day, and I said, “Yes”. While eating he asked what I did in life, and I told him about my Smuggling. He said, “That's wonderful!” Then He asked, “For what denomination?” I replied, “None, I am a generic Christian.” “Why that's really wonderful” he exclaimed. So I inquired about his preference. I was totally surprised because he told me he was an “Atheist”. I just had to ask him why he thought it was WONDERFUL that I was a Bible smuggler, and why he thought it was REALLY WONDERFUL that I was an ordinary Christian. The point he made was that Christians fight among each other so much that they disprove there is really a GOD OF LOVE. Well, it's time to close. I truly Love you all, BUD.

Date: Saturday, December 8, 2001 3:21 p.m.

Once I was quite rich. I owned 12 houses, 8 pieces of land, and a 4 unit apartment house. I decided to sell it all even though these properties were increasing at a rate of about 16% per year. I gave the profits to churches and a home for unwanted children. When I told my ex-wife that I was down to only $22,000 and soon that would also be given away she asked, “Aren't you going to give your children any portion of that?” I decided she was right, So I called my children, grandchildren, and son-in-law in and divided the remaining amount appropriately. When I finished I only had a few dollars in my pocket.

The next day was Sunday and my Pastor at St Paul's Lutheran in Cullman, Alabama gave a sermon “on the young rich man”. When he told the portion where Jesus told the man to sell all he had, give it to the poor, and follow Him, I thought to myself, “that is what I have done”. So when the collection plate came I put in my remaining cash. After the collection plate was gone the lady sitting beside me, whose name was Joan Messersmith, gave me $10.00 and said this is for Russian Bibles. You see, everyone knew I was soon to make my first smuggling trip into Russia. Her gift to me, sitting there without a penny to my name, was a message from God telling me not to worry about funding for me to do His work.

A few days later my retirement check came. Since I had already dedicated all my income to Jesus, I gave my new car to a very poor woman who was trying to provide for both her invalid parents by working double shifts (16 hours a day) as a waitress. I also purchased one year's car insurance for her. She is a Pentecostal. That left me with $69.00 in my pocket and $600 which I put in an envelope.

It was just a day later, the 4th of October 1989, that I put on my backpack with 25 Russian Bibles and 52 Russian New testaments and started out the door. I knew I had the cash in my pocket, but I couldn't remember the whereabouts of the $600. I went back into my son's house and I searched. As I looked I began to panic, as I panicked, I began to cry, as I cried, I started to gasp for air. I was in a terrible state because I was thinking to myself, “How can I go to Russia on only $69.00! Then I thought, “With God, all things are possible.” My breath returned, I stopped crying, and I departed on my mission. I'll tell you more of this trip's story later.

Today, December 8th, 2001 (12 years later) I own no house, no car, no TV and no VCR. Christians give me shelter, a car to drive and I have a suitcase of cloths. I am no longer quite rich. Now, I am extremely wealthy! I truly love you all, BUD.

Date: Tuesday, December 11, 2001 5:10 p.m.

Yes, I walked out the door with my backpack on and my first stop was at a local diner. I had invited Betty to eat breakfast with me - when I thought I could pick up the tab with no problem! Now, I was a bit worried because I knew the bill plus tip would be $23.00. I didn't want to tell her my financial status. I felt that would be wrong. Perhaps I was testing God - something we are not to do! In any event, He was, of course, faithful to me. Betty paid our debts and tipped our waitress. She loaded me up in her car and took me out to I-65, dropped me off at the Cullman exit, and we said our “Good-byes”. Now, I could say I was officially leaving Alabama.

I was picked up by a Christian who was a World War II vet and he took me to Birmingham. He was interested to hear I was on a Bible smuggling trip to Russia without a Visa! I had tried to get one at both Russia consulates in Washington and San Francisco with no success at either. It was with faith that I started out. I thought that perhaps I could get a visa in Tokyo. I had read in the newspaper that Russia had opened up its Far East and so that was where I had planned to go. You see, being in the Bible smuggling community for sometime I knew all the big organizations were smuggling into the Russian west (Moscow area). My driver dropped me off and I awaited my next ride.

I had Lyme disease, was quite weak, and after standing there three hours was very thirsty. Along came Paul with his 18-wheeler. He was as black as any Afro-American could be; but his teeth, as he smiled broadly, were the whitest I'd ever seen. He was a wonderful Christian. He had a big cross displayed on his truck's grill He stopped his truck, blocked traffic, got out to open a special door for my backpack, got back in while all the cars behind honked their horns. Then we took off. He did all this for a White Guy! He explained the reason he picked me up was he knew how difficult it was to get a ride at the spot I was standing. He took me to a place on the east side of the Birmingham outer beltway where it would be easier to get another ride going south. So our Lord sent me two Christians.

After three more hours, and now greatly thirsty, I began to pray. “Please Lord send me another ride.” The location where I was standing was very isolated with not even a gas station in sight. The thought did come to me that perhaps He had someone special in mind. Finally a young college student picked me up. I have forgotten his name, but he was not a Christian. We talked about Jesus, and I told him that someday he would have to make a decision about whether or not Jesus brought us saving grace. I suggested he do a research paper the same way he would in college and I had a new New Testament with me which I gave to him to help him get started. When we said good-bye I still needed another ride and I wondered who God would send me next!

After another hour Ralph came along. He told me he could only take me 10 miles. I needed a 70-mile ride to Maxwell Air Force Base, but I told him I'd take any ride I could get. He asked the usual questions about his passenger and when I gave him all the details of my journey I asked him if he was a Christian. He began to weep! After a moment or two I said, “It's tough being a Christian.” He replied, “Yes, I have been a Confessed Believer for over a year now. I have six brothers and sisters and my parents are still living. I am an outcast in my own family, as none of them believe. Not too long ago I was visiting one of my sisters. We were drinking coffee in her kitchen when in walked one of our brothers. He said, 'I see our stupid Christian is here! ' I just had to get up and walk out.”

I asked Ralph if he had been praying about this, I meant as to what he should do. He said, “Yes”. So I told to him that our Lord had put us together in answer to his prayers. Then I made a suggestion to him. I thought he should go to his congregation and tell them his problem. He should ask them to become his family. The elders being his Uncles, the adults being his brothers and sisters, and the children being his nieces and nephews. He should tell them to not let him be alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I told him other things. Then I thought and said, “Ralph, haven't we gone 10 miles yet? Where are you taking me?” “Yes, more than 10 miles. I'm taking you all the way to Maxwell!” he said. For some reason I wasn't thirsty any more!

At the gate to the Base the Airman gave Ralph instructions on how to get to the Air Terminal. When there we got out of the car and prayed together. I quoted the verse where Jesus told his disciples to give a blessing to those who take them in and I told Ralph my blessing for him was that all his family would someday turn to Christ.

We parted. I never saw him again.

From: Church Office
Date: Wed 12/12/01 10:30
To: Bud Morlock
Subject: RE: “SILENT PANIC”

Hi Bud,

Several of your stories have brought tears to my eyes. Keep writing, we surely see the work of The Lord in what you have experienced.

In case you want to revise your stories for further publication here are two spelling corrections: Testament and truly

Dave got the Church Council to include Project Little Lamb in the benevolence budget for 2002!

Take heart, you are not forgotten.

Love,

Sally

Date: Wednesday, December 12, 2001 2:57p.m.

And so to continue: After saying good-bye to Ralph outside the Air Terminal at Maxwell Air Force Base I went inside to check on my chances of catching a flight to the west coast. Being retired military I can do that if there is a spare seat and the flight is not carrying any dangerous cargo. One catch; I travel “LAST CLASS”. All others come before me. This factor comes to bear later on.

Well, there were no westward bound flights so I took the dispatcher's advice and signed up for an early evening flight to Eglin AFB, Florida. We had for the first time in my life on either a military or civilian flight a female Captain. It was OK with me because I look upon females as capable in just about all fields. I also knew she would not be sitting there if the Air Force had not trained her well. Having completed that same training myself, I knew she had been trained well. Actually, I was proud of her. She landed us in Florida at about 10 p.m.

I decided not to check into the barracks, which cost $9.00 per night, but sleep on the terminal floor after eating a $2.00 snack.

Early in the morning I heard a sound. I peaked out of my sleeping bag and saw a female sitting nearby. She was black and a Navy Seaman. She was probably uncomfortable there with this BUM sleeping near by so I got up and rolled up my bag and put it away.

This is what I found out about her. She wanted to travel to New York and she had been sleeping in the ladies rest room until the cleaning woman forced her out. She was Baptist and proud of me and my mission.

At 6 a.m., a sergeant came in and opened up his counter. He announced that he only had one flight going to New York. The woman and I both wanted to go on it. I, because I knew I could go west easier from there than I could from this little base in Florida. There was only one problem! There was only one seat available! Being that she was on active duty she had higher priority than I. But, there was one other problem!

She would get the seat, but only to Washington DC where she would have to get off! The flight had been set up to transport a General from Washington to New York. The Seaman asked the Sergeant, “How will I get to New York?” He said, “Take a bus.” She replied, “I can't, I haven't any money.” Then he said, “Well, take a bus back to your Navy Base.” Then she said, “You're not listening to me. I haven't any money!”

It was then that I realized that I wasn't listening to her either. She had been sleeping in the rest room. She had NO MONEY. At that moment she was kneeling on the floor zipping her bag closed and I knelt down beside her and gave her $20.00. She said, “I can't take that. I know your story. You've got very little money.” I said, “But I know your story and you have no money. Take it. You're my sister and I love you.” I hugged her, and while she hugged me back she said, “You're my brother, and I love you.” The Sarge didn't know what to think about these two lovers, so he told her to get ready to board the plane. Half an hour later I heard her plane take-off.

Later a flight came in that was to return to St Louis. I got on it. However, to my surprise it landed en route at Birmingham! I could have just waited a day and saved all that hardship. I could have just gotten on at Birmingham. But do you know? I don't think that was God's plan. He made me much richer in all those adventures.

We got into Scott AFB (St Louis) at about 9 p.m. and there were no westbound flights until the next morning. I signed in for it. Note: In this system, if there is only one seat for two or more people traveling in the same class the one who signs in first gets the seat. (This, also comes into play later on in this story) Again, I choose to sleep on the floor, but a sign nearby said it was prohibited so I went outside to look for a bedroom! About two blocks away I found a hanger. I went in and slept with the airplanes.

On the next day, my third day of travel, I flew to Travis AFB, California. I don't exactly remember how much money I had at that point, but the man sitting beside me gave me $10.00.

As I write here I can look out the window. Snow is gently coming down. It has been at minus 10 degrees here in Anchorage for the past week, but now it's above zero at about plus 10. As it is only nine days until the shortest day of the year, my heart knowing this, is filling with joy. However, I am tired so I'll turn off the computer.

It was my plan to get us to Russia today, but I guess not our Lord's, maybe tomorrow.

I love you all, BUD.

Date: Friday, December 14, 2001 12:47 p.m.

I can guess that only one or two of you are reading these episodes. If you are please tell me. I know my son is reading them and Ted and Sally. If you are reading them please let me know - if they help it is worth while. Just click on “Reply All”,

And so to continue:

We arrived at Travis AFB at 4 p.m. and I signed in for the next flight out to Japan. The Airman told me that would be at 10 a.m. the next day, which was Sunday! I didn't want to miss the morning worship service so I went out to find the Base Chapel. Lyme disease was taking its toll on me and I was extremely weak. I could hardly walk. At the Protestant Chapel I found out the first service was at 10 a.m.! I was in much pain.

Being a guy who loves to have his cake and eat it to I wanted to go worship our Lord and make the flight too. So I set out to find the Catholic Chapel. It was six blocks away. The pain was terrible and that meant a nine-block walk back. However, I was rewarded. There would be a 6 a.m. service.

Upon my return to the Air Terminal I ate and crawled into my sleeping bag behind some benches. I was up in time to attend Mass and return for the flight Check-In. At the Check-In I found 65 people wanting seats. There were 96 seats available. I thought, “How wonderful”, but I prayed, “Lord, please give me a seat.” Then they started the seat assignment process. After 36 seats were assigned one knowledgeable fellow asked, “How many seats do you have left?” The young female Dispatcher replied, “just ONE!” I questioned, “Just one?, there should be 29!” The fellow standing beside me said, “Many of those who went before us had wives and children down in the Nursery”. JUST ONE, and then I thought about my “Down and Dirty Prayer”. If only I had prayed more sincerely.

When those remaining heard that announcement they all got up and started for the door. The young Airman still had one seat left so I went up and gave her my sign-in receipt. Then another fellow did the same thing so I had a 50150 chance until our gal announced, “Doesn't anyone else want to try for the seat?” I was thinking, “NO, NO, NO”, but eight more would be passengers stepped forward - 10 in all.

As she sorted through the receipts I again thought about my prayer, but it was already too late for another as she was now holding up the prized piece of paper. She opened her mouth to speak, but when she did I heard a strong man's voice. He said, “Who is Morlock?” I got the LAST SEAT. Surely, I thought, I heard the voice of God.

We landed at Hickham AFB after dark, and I just couldn't sleep on a floor again, so I checked into the barracks. My seat was to Japan so I reported in on time and we flew to Yokota Air Base.

Once I had my feet on the ground in Japan I checked my billfold. I had $1.00.

I love you all, Bud.

Date: Saturday, December 15, 2001 4:03 p.m.

Yesterday was my birthday, age 69. I never thought that age 70 would be significant to me, but it has become so. Getting caught in quicksand, nearly running out of fuel over the Pacific, falling off a fence hitting my head on a stone sidewalk, falling from a second story barn landing flat on my back, and surviving two head on car wrecks has made me think two things. One: I'll never live to be 70 years old. Two: God is protecting me for works He has for me to do. Such a conflict of ideas!

And so onto Russia:

Yesterday I told you we stopped at Hickham AFB en-route to Japan. Hickham is in Hawaii. Yokota AB is near Tokyo, Japan. You all probably knew that, but I felt that I should explain should there be any questions.

On arrival in Japan I was met by Betsy; a Lutheran missionary from Cullman, Alabama; the city I departed from on this journey. She and her husband gave me shelter. They had a kitchen, bedroom, and living room. I slept in the latter on the floor until I got my visa into Russia. It was a three day tourist visa. Praise the Lord. I was going in!

It was Betsy who gave Project Little Lamb its name. We had just finished eating and reading the scriptures ~ John 21. I mentioned that I was only one man and could only carry in 75 scriptures at a time while Andrew of “Open Doors with Brother Andrew”, an international Bible smuggling organization, had operations “Rainbow” and “Manna:” each delivering thousands of Bibles at a time. In John 21 Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him and after John replied each time Jesus said, “Feed my Lambs”. ' So Betsy's logic was that I was, in a little way, feeding our Lord's sheep - thus Project Little Lamb.

Finally, in late October of 1989, I landed at Kharbarovsk, a city in the Russian Far East. I only knew five words of Russian, but Jesus took care of everything. He found me a bus to my hotel, food to eat, and an English speaking tour guide to take me to the only church she knew of. It was Sunday.

The Territorial Bishop was just finishing the service when he was told an American had Bibles for the people. It was still in the days of Communism, but he invited me up to the altar. I told the people that we Americans knew about the Iron Curtain and that we prayed for those of them who were behind it. Some began to cry. Then I told them how God helped me bring them this Holy literature. Even more began to cry. I was greatly touched. Then I explained that I had only planned to do this once, but now I had decided to smuggle more Bibles to them; that, in fact, I would give them one year of my life doing this. We all cried together.

I love you all, Bud.

PS Later I found out the Bishop was a Major in the KGB (Secret Police)! Needless to say I got caught the next time I arrived in Kharbarovsk with Bibles.

Date: Monday, December a7, 2001 2:50 p.m.

Before leaving Niigata, Japan with 220 Russian Bibles and New Testaments I called a real Bible smuggling professional in Australia. Her name was Janis John and we had worked out of Hong Kong together going into China. We had, in the past, a high level of competition going on between us to see who could be the most successful.

I told her I would be going through Russian Customs in four hours and I asked her to pray for me because I had told our Lord that if He wanted me to be caught it would be worth it for me to glorify His Kingdom. I was ready to be caught. She told me her whole church would be praying for me. They had a prayer alert system.

Well, in four hours I was going through customs and my inspector's name was Natasha. She asked me if I had any books, magazines, or newspapers! I told her I didn't have any magazines or newspapers! So she inquired about books. I couldn't lie. I admitted to having books. She took them.

The next day in a coffee shop I met a young girl named Sveta and her newspaper reporter friend, Andre. They asked me what I was doing in their city. It was not a secret any more so I told them. Andre put my story in his newspaper “The Far East Youngman”.

Since foreigners could only stay in one hotel in Kharbarovsk everyone knew where to find me. So guess who came to see me? An Adventist Pastor, two Baptist Pastors, and a Pentecostal Pastor! All four had underground churches. It was still in the days of Communism - they needed Bibles, and they all invited me to come worship with them. Later I was able to take them Scriptures and meet with their congregations, but at that moment my Bibles were sitting in Customs out at the Airport!

As it was, I soon found myself, in my room, praying for the return of my Bibles. I had worked too hard to get them here (From Hong Kong via Japan and on to Russia, but that will be another story tomorrow) and I wanted to deliver them into the hands of Believers. When I finished my prayer I opened my Bible for conformation. As I read I turned the page and the words jumped out at me, “He shall feed His sheep like a Shepherd.” My organization was Project Little Lamb, I didn't have to do anything. Jesus would feed the sheep. He would get the Bibles back for me. I wouldn't have to do anything.

That is how it was. I received a phone call there in my room. The hotel receptionist told me to come downstairs - there was a car waiting for me - it would take me to the Airport.

To my surprise there was another news reporter and an Orthodox Priest waiting in the car for me. The man's name was Yuri and the Priest's name was Peter. There was one hitch! I had to give all the Scriptures to the Priest. I didn't mind.

Yuri spoke excellent English. We became good friends and went on many riverboat rides to his favorite fishing holes. He told me funny jokes.

The Priest and I became even closer. To overcome the problems that were looming on the horizon for missionaries in Russia I decided to join the force from which the problems were being emitted. I was baptized an Orthodox and Peter participated in it by becoming my Godfather. This opened many doors for me, and as Paul was a Roman citizen and thus avoided many arrests, I was now Orthodox and slipped around from village to village baptizing in the name of our Lord (1,402 in all).

I guess that is enough for today. Tomorrow I will tell you how Jesus gave me my Private Jet to travel in. I love you all, BUD.

Date: Wednesday, December 19, 2001 11:55 am

Twice I've tried to send you this interesting story .The first time, after typing and composing with my two “pinkies” for almost 2 hours. A window popped up and said, “Due to a Microsoft internet power outage your current project has been lost.”

That was yesterday. I didn't have the heart to redo it. Today, after working about an hour and 10 minutes - trying to recapture the drive and enthusiasm to tell this story I accidentally hit the wrong button and either erased all my work or sent it off to you! Now, I'll take a rest for the day and I'll retry tomorrow. Maybe Jesus doesn't want this story told! We'll see. I love you, Bud.

PS. I know I asked you to click “REPLY ALL” when responding to me, but now I ask that you just chick “REPLY”. (BUT PLEASE REPLY.) I truly do appreciate your input.

Hurray, only two more days until the shortest day of the year! We are down to five hours twenty-eight minutes of sunshine. I sure am happy I don't live UP NORTH in Fairbanks!

Date: Wednesday, December 19, 2001 4:12p.m.

In between my first two trips to Russia I found a lull in my activities so I thought I'd try to return to Hong Kong and do more “Courier Work” for our Lord. I mean taking in more “Loaves” of the Bread of Life into China.

At the time I was in Japan. I heard that the Navy had flights to Hong Kong and since I was still low on cash I thought I'd go via military air. I took a train from Niigata to Atsugi Naval Air Station. Once there I nearly fainted when the Seaman Clerk told me they only had one flight every six months! However, I quickly revived when he told me he had a flight in two days.

It was Saturday so I went to see the Station Chaplain. I asked him if I could deliver the next day's sermon. He wasn't much interested, but he gave his Sunday school class to me and reasoned that I could “Sing for my supper” and have their donations. I received about $200.

Early Monday we loaded aboard our plane and were off at the break of day! The aircraft was loaded with women and children and me. “Strange”, I thought.

About three hours after take-off we started to make a landing at Kadena Air Base, Okinawa. The pilot announced the plane would be refueled and that we must go inside to the Snack Bar.

It wasn't long and I heard, “Will the passenger going to Hong Kong please report to the Departure Gate”! Where they talking about me??? I guess so.

We were soon in the air and at twenty-four thousand feet. When the plane leveled off I thought I'd take a tour of this empty aircraft. I found the cockpit and asked the pilots what was going on. They told me all those other passengers lived on Okinawa and that was the reason for the stop. I was beginning to think I had a private jet to Hong Kong when they told me the trip was to pick up the Navy Band.

When we parked in front of the Hong Kong Terminal a Seaman came out to meet us. Our pilot told him to send out the Band. He said, “Captain, didn't anyone tell you the band left yesterday on an unscheduled flight. You came for nothing.” How our Lord works in mysterious ways - I did have a private jet after all!

In Jesus Love, BUD.

Date: Thursday, December 20, 2001 2:46 p.m.

My last episode left off with my arrival in Hong Kong. Of course, I headed straight for the Men's dormitory and office of “Open Doors”. Upon arrival I was greeted by the staff and assigned to a room with an empty bunk.

The next day I started the first of a few trips into China. On the third trip I found that I was down to only $6.00. That trip was to be an over night boat ride up the Pearl River. When I got to the end of the trip I was caught entering with my Bibles. They did nothing to me. I bought some lunch and returned on the same over night boat to Hong Kong.

After taking the subway to the dormitory I was “BROKE” with no money at all. I went into the office and for some reason looked into the mail basket. I really didn't expect any mail as I hadn't been there long enough for mail to arrive from the US. But, Lo and Behold, there was an envelope with my name on it written with a brown lead pencil! It had $100 in it. No name or clue who it was from except the brown lead writing. I looked for the pencil, but I couldn't find it. Then I looked into our mission report basket and I found a report filled out that day by a couple from Australia who use that pencil. I tried to find them, to thank them, but they had already left for their homeland. Thank you, Jesus. I could eat some dinner that night.

The next day I met Mr. Lee, a Korean/American who had his own smuggling organization into North Korea and China. He was quite interested in me and my work in Russia. He suggested we go to the Hong Kong Bible Society to see if we could find any Russian Scriptures. We did - 80 Bibles and 140 New testaments! He bought them for me.

Those scriptures, it turned out had been sitting there 40+ years. A mass evacuation of Russians into China was the cause of their purchase by the HKBS. Each page of each book had turned yellow and each cover had mildew on it, but they were the 220 books that I took into Russia on my second trip.

Do you know what??? The Navy gave me another private jet ride back to Japan!

I have never returned to Hong Kong. In Jesus name, I love you all, BUD.

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2001 2:41 p.m.

Galena Petroevna

Mayor of Novokurovka

Kharbarovsk Territory

Russia

18.12.01

To my dear friend Galeya,

It has been one year and sevens weeks since the government of Russia forced me to return to America and of course the same length of time since I've seen you. However, I have not forgotten you, my God-children Katya and Ira, the people and all the children of Novokurovka, or my home by the hill. Novokurovka became my home and I became 100% Novokurovski.

I have spent everyday, using every mental skill, to find a way to return. Perhaps, for now it is not God's plan. But I want to tell you how much richer my life has been for my having lived there with you.

A poor American, as I am, is a rich millionaire when living in a poor Russian village. The Bible says I as a Christian must help poor people whenever I meet them. So I tried: feeding 106 children everyday, providing heat in the cold winter for the school and hospital, repairing the water wells and sidewalks, making repairs at the airport and the village auditorium.

The problems I gave you were many because every villager needed and wanted food, cloths, medicine, cigarettes and vodka. I could not sort out the good needs from the bad needs as fourteen to sixteen people came to my door everyday asking, asking and asking.

My poor Russian language skills added much to my problems because everyone thought I understood what they were saying to me, when I did not. They thought I was being deceptive and was trying to avoid conversation, thus being discourteous. It was always a bad situation.

Many were willing to work and so at times I had eight to ten people working in my yard. This made all my neighbors think I was too lazy to work for myself. I found out this was true because once when no one was near I picked up some tree limbs that had fallen to the ground during the night's storm. As I walked across my yard with my arms full of limbs an old grandmother saw me as she walked by. She yelled out to me, “GOOD BOY, BUD”! She couldn't believe that I was willing to work. She never knew my youth.

God trained me as a child to live in a cabin in a village. At age 12 I had to carry water to my home from the distant well. I had to hoe in the garden and I had to use the outside toilet when the temperature was minus thirty degrees. Yes, He trained me to be a missionary in our poor village.

One day two women came to my door wanting work. I had no work for them. So I stepped outside to see if I could find something for them to do. When I saw my outside toilet I gave them paint and told them to go to work. I know it was “the joke of the day” as it was the only painted toilet in the village.

Another “joke of the day” was when “Beeda” looked at all the work going on. The white painted fence, the green grass (the only yard with grass) and gravel stone sidewalk, and said, “Bud, you want a Little America!” I never thought about it, but maybe it was so.

Also, I know the Territorial government officials caused you many problems because you helped me as you could. They accused you of accepting large sums of money from me, which I never offered you; and I know you never would have accepted if I had. I should have given you money: One, because you deserved it; and Two, the officials because of their greed, could never believe there was one honest village mayor in their Territory anyhow.

Dozens of people have asked me, “Bud, why Novokurovka?” I tell them because the Mayor there loves the children just as I do, and we work together like “a hand in a glove” to make life better for them.

We worked together fighting SATAN. You were my General and I was God's soldier. Many evenings I would go up the hill by my home and pray for you and my little sheep. I was their shepherd and they were my Lambs. As the sun would be setting I'd look at the western horizon and I would see Satan and his army coming. I would stand up and I would yell out across the plains to him, “No, Satan, not Novokurovka. I am here. I am God's Centurion and behind me is my Army of hundreds of American Christians. Go back to Hell, Satan. Leave us”, and he would go.